To Love Yourself You Have To Accept Yourself

It is said that love makes the world go round and yet love is something that can be incredibly allusive. We look for love everywhere but The Secret to Love – It Starts Within. This can be so difficult to practice because to love yourself you have to accept yourself.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance – Oscar Wilde

However, I believe that accepting oneself is the foreplay to that romance.

The Buzz of Acceptance in a New Romance

So let’s talk about acceptance for a moment shall we…

That’s the amazing thing in a new relationship between lovers, each party literally seems to believe the moon, stars and sun shine out of the other. The new love is the most wonderful and glorious species on the planet.

Sometimes it happens that our friends, family, and associates ask us what the fuck we are doing.

Can’t you see what an asshole he is?

Oh my God, she’s such a bitch…

We become offended and may even terminate certain relationships.

You see what’s happening (apart from the insane hormonal rush to the body) is we are in an exceptionally high state of acceptance. We are recognising our own beauty in our lover (although we don’t consciously always know this) and we simply accept.

We accept their quirks, bad behaviours, the occasional secreted fart… in fact we delight in these little things that make them uniquely them.

Until the romance wears off and reality hits.

When Acceptance Begins to Wane

It is at this point that a rocky descent to the end begins and some relationships end rather abruptly. Others begin a long endless cycle of disappointment and crisis. Some relationships just simmer in misery for decades.

Perhaps you know what I’m talking about, because you’ve experienced the same yourself. Some couples enter into therapy to right the wrongs and those that emerge with their relationships healed have undergone a process of self-discovery, self-awareness and a renewed understanding and acceptance of and for their partner.

So why am I emphasising the role acceptance has in our intimate relationships? Well, that’s because if we are to embark on a lifelong romance with ourselves the key is acceptance.

None of us can love something that we cannot accept.

This is a fact and unfortunately, there is no way around this truth.

The amount of acceptance we have for ourselves is directly proportionate to the amount of love we are capable experiencing with ourselves.

Now do not run off and think I am telling you that you have to be perfect.

HELL NO!

You see perfection does not exist.

We have ideals of what we think perfection is, but essentially, it does not exist. Why do I say that?

The Lie of Perfection

Perfection speaks of something being absolute, having no room for improvement and here is the beautiful thing… creation is constantly and everlastingly unfolding.

It is a constant, as is change. By virtue of this fact, perfection is not everlasting and therefore not absolute.

So pursuing something that does not exist and shall never exist is a fools dream…

I don’t know about you but I don’t tolerate fools lightly.

So I won’t seek perfection in my life I will pursue WHOLENESS.

The road to wholeness is self-knowledge and self-acceptance.

When you know who you are and you embrace all of you, in this moment, then you can love yourself, in this moment!

All of us live from moment to moment so all we need to do is master the moment. Don’t try to accept yourself for your whole existence. Remember about change and creation? We are all constantly changing.

Like the moon, we wax and we wane. I am not who I was yesterday and not who I will be tomorrow and this is the beautiful gift of life.

Can I accept that? Hell yes!

So let me encourage you to know who you are and accept who you are. This is your key to experiencing more self-love in your life.

If you don’t know where to start I invite you to let’s have a chat.
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When we know and accept ourselves, we create more inner peace and harmony within. It even gives us the capacity to accept others that much easier.

Let’s face it, we all have our strange little quirks and ticks but when we’ve embraced them the quirks and ticks of others don’t bother us.

Here’s a fun video from Valentine’s Day of the happenings in my house. Accepting the little quirks of those we love.

If you’re up to it, I’d love to know:

• Which part of this article resonates the most with you right now, and why?

Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.