Having Nothing to Say

I write a blog each week, based on my own experiences or the events I observe around me and most weeks I feel like I have something so say, something of value to give to the world or an encouragement which might lift my readers up, but today I have nothing to say.  Absolutely nothing.

I could gaze out the window at the azure blue sky and perhaps after enough gazing something will fall into my head as if inspired to bring us enlightenment, but I shall not do that, as it feels incongruent with the feeling of having nothing to say.

There is a part of me; my inner critic, that evil bitch who sits on my shoulder screaming abuse at me and highlighting all my faults, who yells,  “You should have something to say!  You must have something to say!  How can you have nothing to say?”  If I listen to her long enough, I shall feel even worse than I already do.  Perhaps the guilt I feel at her accusations will drive me to look through stock material, which I could pep up, and send out, rather than admit the truth; I have nothing to say.  Alternatively, perhaps I will simply not act, not send out a newsletter today, after all who will care, who will really notice that I have nothing to say.

Why is this so important this need to have something to say?  Must I impress you the reader, week after week?  Must I receive recognition for my work and positive feedback; am I a failure, a dried up prune if for one week I simply have nothing to say?  What persona have I created for myself that says I must have something to say, week after week.  After all, I do work in personal development and if I cannot inspire and challenge people, if I am unable to rise above this silence of the soul what does that say about me as a coach, author, and speaker.

I realise that my ridiculous turmoil is not about having nothing to say but rather about feeling empty and uninspired and even as I write this, I am aware dear reader, that you too have felt this way at times, empty and uninspired.  As if, you have reached an impasse, a dead end.  Perhaps your dilemma has not been around words; perhaps it’s been around creativity, programming code, relationships, or staff meetings and customer visits.  The possibilities are endless.  Likewise the longer this fugue of inspiration lasts, the worse we feel.

What is the antidote, how can we conjure up something out of nothing.

I think our primordial response of fight or flight normally kicks in and we want to fight the feeling, get into action, make something happen or we want to run away from it, look for a distraction, dull the pain (because it is painful to feel uninspired) and perhaps ignore it until we feel better again. However today I would like to suggest something different.

Acknowledge it

Sometimes we simply have to acknowledge how we are feeling empty and uninspired.  Not look for a solution, not try, and make it right again, simply acknowledge it.

As I am doing today, I am simply acknowledging that I have nothing to say.

Focus on Now

When we become still and sit with an uncomfortable feeling allowing it to be, we are in fact practicing self-love.  Let me be clear about this, do not become still in order to beat yourself up.  This is not an act of self-love but rather clear a space within yourself, by becoming mindful and focusing on your breath, bringing what is causing you distress consciously to your attention.

As you inhale and exhale deeply focus on the moment, nothing else.  Not the lack of inspiration or feelings of emptiness, simply focus on the moment.  As you focus on now you will realise that all is well in moment and you become fully present with yourself now.

Let it Go!

The great advantage to becoming present with ourselves now is that it really helps us to let things go.  What was past is gone, what will come is non-existent but right now all is well.  As I’ve been writing this, I have been following my own advice and implementing these simple steps.  Do I suddenly feel like I have something to say?  No I don’t, but I do know deep within myself that all is well and that this too, like everything shall pass.

You see we can hold onto things, run away from them, or try to change them but when we are emotionally mature; we can also allow them to be.  By becoming aware we also become conscious, by going within ourselves we tap into our inner strength and power, by weathering the storm we enhance our innate resilience, that ability to bounce back and to keep moving forward.

One of the secrets of inner peace is the practice of compassion – The Dalai Lama

Be Compassionate

Love and inner peace are rooted in compassion and often times we completely neglect to show ourselves compassion.  The definition of compassion is a sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.  When we practice compassion towards ourselves, we are allowing ourselves to be human, less than perfect.  We are also putting the inner critic in their place and removing their ability to abuse us.

Choosing to be compassionate with ourselves will determine how we move forward.  As with everything in life, our experiences of hardships and well-being are determined by the choices we make, so let us choose compassion, and love for ourselves first and then we can share it with others.

I realise that for someone who had nothing to say, I have said quite a lot but perhaps I needed to write this post more for myself than for anyone else.  Who knows?  Leave a comment on how you deal with feeling empty and uninspired; I would love to hear from you.  Sign up for my weekly blog posts if you have enjoyed this article.