11 Hard Things to Remember When You Feel Like Giving Up
About 5 minutes to read
When you feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, running away don’t despair you are not alone. Each of us has had those moments in life when we have felt overwhelmed or plainly put, utterly useless and we want to give up.
The desire to give up manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes, especially when trying something new, frustration builds very quickly and we have those spontaneous, hands in the air moments of I can’t do this, I give up! At other times, hopelessness seeps in slowly with daily grind, disappointments, unforeseen changes, trauma, and loss. Situations escalate out of control, love becomes stale, family members die, and children fall into addiction. It seems that it never rains in your life, it only pours.
There can be moments when you think all is well. You feel accomplished and are doing your best; life seems good when suddenly a miniscule thought pops into your head to pay you an unwelcome visit. It is your greatest enemy, your inner critic who knows you intimately and knows exactly which hateful thing to say to make you stop dead in your tracks. Before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t know what you’re doing. You will never succeed in business, love, and parenting. Whatever clarity you had has mysteriously disappeared in an ethereal cloud of self-hatred and loathing.
You wish you could roll yourself into a tiny ball and cry until you’re dry. In your mind, another more extreme escape route may seem plausible, the final solution… After all who cares, you won’t be missed; you’re such a loser it would be better simply to end yours and everyone else’s misery.
A Hard Choice to Make
While we are fully responsible for creating our lives there are certain things that are beyond our control. This will always be the case and nothing we can do will change that.
However, how we choose to respond to whatever is happening determines how we will move forward.
When we respond to life, we have energetic reserves compared to when we’re reacting to life. Responding brings with it more empowerment, whereas reacting more drama.
This is not easy, but your response is what determines what happens next. Choose to move forward. No excuses. No resistance. No giving up.
Remember when the going gets tough the tough get tougher!
Would you like the episode transcript?
When we are in despair thinking rationally is extremely difficult, but if you can remember at least one of these points it will help.
Things to Remember
- Choose your thoughts. We have the ability to remain in a state of negative thinking or we can choose more uplifting thoughts. I am not suggesting that you try to think yourself positive to feel better, that’s a load of bullshit because positive thinking does not address the emotional turmoil of the situation. However, we can train our minds how to think. If you perpetually eat junk food, it’s likely you will have serious health problems, likewise if you perpetually entertain negative thoughts this is how your reality will be.
- Hardships in life build resilience. Looking at our human experience, from the time we are born we are in one form of struggle or another. From the struggle of birth, learning to walk, talk, feed ourselves, life appears to be a constant struggle. Yet these struggles are what build our resilience and strengthen us in body, mind, spirit and soul.
- The pain of today will be very different in a year from now. There is a saying that time is a great healer, but this is not true. The passage of time offers distance to our pain. For some it becomes less intensive, for others more acute. The best healer of all is intention. When we live with the intention to overcome obstacles and heal our pain, the result can be miraculous.
- Don’t base future decisions on current dramas. When we are in a tough situation we often feel incapable of making huge life decisions because overwhelm is so much a part of the experience. Don’t make huge life decisions when you’re wanting to give up, how you think and feel now will change, so don’t let the current drama dictate your future.
- Clouded vision will clear. We often cannot see the next step to take and it feels as if there is no way out for us. This is not true; there is always a solution even if it is not immediately clear. Allow yourself the time and space for your clarity of vision to return.
- Focus on your strengths and remember your victories. Our lives are a series of struggles and triumphs. While the events may be different, the ability to overcome remains constant. Remind yourself of other times when you have overcome and continued in strength. Even though you may not feel strong, does not mean that you’re not. Therefore, focus on your strengths and remember previous victories in your life.
- Because you haven’t done it before, doesn’t mean it can’t be done. It may be the first time you’re experiencing great difficulties in your marriage, job, as a parent. You may feel stupid, inadequate, lacking in experience. Because you have never had this experience before does not mean that, you’re inadequate or can’t move through it in your unique way. There is always a first time, so march to your unique internal drumbeat.
- Have faith in yourself. When we feel like giving up, we often cry out to a divine entity to help us through. However, often we forget to place our faith in ourselves, in our indomitable human spirit. While I am not saying, lose your faith in your God I am saying hold onto your faith in yourself! This is incredibly difficult, especially if we feel disappointed in ourselves but remind yourself of who you really are and believe in yourself.
- The sun IS shining. Often when we are experiencing the dark night of the soul we feel abandoned by God and man. We believe that dawn will never come and our lives will continue in perpetual darkness. While this may seem completely real, the fact is the sun is shining somewhere on the earth. It is never completely, eternally dark, there is always light. Remember this and take steps in the direction of that light in your life, regardless of how small it is.
- Help is always available. Frequently we feel completely isolated in these situations, believing nobody understands or knows what we are going through. This is a lie we concoct for ourselves because the experience of pain and hopelessness is universal regardless of the causes. Reach out to a friend or family member that you trust, or speak to a therapist who could help. Finding a brilliant life coach to work with will also transform your life.
- Love, love, love yourself! Frequently we show more compassion for strangers in distress than for ourselves. Hold fast to your self-love and be kind and compassionate to you. Meet yourself where you are at not where you think you should be.
Now it’s Your Turn…
I spend my time working with my coaching clients who have felt many of these emotions and experienced similar situations. Having endured my own hardships in life I know how difficult it can be when you want to give up.
Let’s have a chat I’d love to help you build your resilience.
And if you’re up to it, I’d love to know:
- Which part of this article (or snippet) resonates the most with you right now, and why?
Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.